Night of The Living Dead 1990
Overall Recommendation
Recommendation?
Fucking A!! I could have not been more pleasantly thrilled and surprised- from the very first “gotcha” to the special effects to the zombies… This is a really good zombie movie- A GREAT zombie movie- arguable one of the very best ever in terms of production values, balance, acting, budget- especially when considered as is from the analog days before CGI and all the fancy camera shit changed everything. However, it’s also a remake, an updating. Not a sequel. This is a very intelligent remake of Romero’s original that IS NOT TRUE TO SCRIPT yet remains true to soul. They have intentionally made just enough changes at the right places to make this movie a companion to the 1978 that ultimately makes the experience of watching both together of them better than the cumulative of watching them separately. Jesus, I couldn’t have said that worse. Here’s another way of looking at it. Read Ender’s Game. I mean, if you’re cool with Orson Scott Card. I understand if you’re not. But if you are, read Ender’s Game. Then read Ender’s Shadow. Maybe read Ender’s Game again. Have you mind blown at the awesomeness of the two intertwined stories. I’m NOT saying that these two movies blend together like the Ender stories- that would just be too fucking awesome. But they do compliment each other in the setting of your expectations and then playing with you like a cat-nip kitten and it’s favorite felt mouse. As a stand alone movie, this completely holds it’s own, but if you’ve been raised on the recent fast zombies and hive-mind and whatnot, you may think this is a bit slow. It’s still fucking great though. Nothing in it is lacking.
Here’s the game.
- Everyone watches the 1978 black and white classic Night of The Living Dead.
- You jump, you take a drink
- Everyone watches the 1990 remake Night of The Living Dead.
- You jump, you take a drink.
(Note) Holding a large, full bowl of cold water in your lap while watching the movies can substitute for drinking if you don’t want to get hammered but don’t mind getting soaked.
Plot Autopsy
Plot Autopsy
- We thought we knew what we were watching but it’s subtly different
- Every time we think we know where it’s going we get startled
- Admiration and joy at the faithfulness of the adaptation
- There is a kick-ass rendition of the gas-debacle
- The Waif re-writes her role
- Rednecks will be rednecks
Zombie Description
Zombie Description
These are Romero zombies. Slow, shambling, able to use rocks to break windows and crap like that, really no memory of anything, gotta shoot them in the head. You know. Plain vanilla missionary position zombie movie. That in NO way makes it bad though. It’s just expected. They did not attribute these zombies to a comet though, which I thought was funny since it’s such an inconsequential thing to change. It’d be like changing the cabinets in the kitchen of the house they filmed in. Why bother? No one’ll really notice or know or care anyway? But that said, these are great zombies. Gory, bloody, consistent zombies of the highest caliber. So good!
Where the money went
Where the money went
This is a professionally funded real movie made with Romero’s involved left and right. At first I was a bit cynical as to what this could actually bring to the table, but once it started rolling and I caught the vibe, I realized that if Romero was sitting around bored one summer and a Cadillac with his college buddies pulled up with a bag of money and they said “Hey man, let’s spend the summer remaking that movie you made, like, a decade ago! But with some different shit that we always wanted to try!” and Romero tossed away his spliff and replied “Boys, I have no idea what you’re talking about but I’ve always wanted to make a zombie movie! Lemme tell you some of my ideas!” Seriously. This is fucking straight up spot on zombie shit. Get your hands on the purest you can and stick it in your ear-hole. Your funky ass will love it.
Best Weapon
Best Weapon
This is a toss up of two of my favorite things in the world ever. 30-30 lever action rifles and chevy square body pickup trucks. This being a remake of a movie that was very intentionally set in a rural farmhouse that had firearms and big stick things, the original movie just sort of went realistically with convention and people fought zombies with what they had. This is from the roots-rock period when everything was new so they didn’t have to dig to find some gimmick weapon to set their zombie movie apart from all the other zombie movies. (I was kidding about the weapon making montage.) Romero… I mean, whatever his name is… kept things simple, as he ought to have, and we found no need for tennis-racket & super-soaker-flame-throwers MacGyver specials. Really though, the best weapon was our own assumptions when used against us. Watch the movie, think you know where it’s going, keep a big bowl of cold water in your lap if you’re feeling really brave.
Can I get a hand?
Can I get a hand?
This is hand-through window central. You want to feel under siege by a zombie army? This movie has you covered. You also want a surprise hand thrown at your head when you’re explicitly not expecting to have a hand flying at your head? It’s got that too. There’s no zombie-breach from the grave, but plenty of window-breach. As for how well does this hold up tradition, it’s both faithful and sexy. This is like Madonna’s version of Catholicism.
That was new!
That was new!
Very little in this movie was new, and that’s by design of it being a remake of on of the genre cannon. But that said, they DID make small changes, and those little changes become the really big scares in this movie. Yes, this is a faithful remake of the original. Yes, they did change just enough of the small details so that you’re startled when shit goes against what you expect. They did a great job of working with the original script to find alterations that would super-charge the startle without undermining the plot.
Review Notes
Review Notes
I wonder how much I’m going to get for notes here, considering I’ve seen the story a thousand times.
The intro says “George Romero present”. Shouldn’t it be “Presents”?
I really don’t want this review to be just a comparison between the first and this one, but I will say the car in the first one is way better than this one.
If you watch this, pay attention to who is involved doing what. It looks like a “Romero’s family cash grab”
Dude hates his mom.
This was made in the early 90’s when women made *all* the wrong fashion choices.
HE makes a damn good zombie!
So… they did make some changes…
HOLY!!! FUCK!!! Got me. Got me so good. Got me SO GOOD!!
And that’s one hell of a brawl!
Johnny, that’s devotion. Jesus, gravity *always* wins.
I’ve never seen a half-suit before.
And I really don’t like autopsy shit.
Is that considered subliminal? The flier on the seat says “Danger! Thrills!” and shit like that. We see it, we (the smarter of us, I guess) read it- even if we’re actually just watching the zombie… but does this affect us? Where’s that tall glass of ice cubes I had?
My dog did that to my car. Seriously. In a parking garage. She disengaged the parking brake and it rolled backwards. It was a Honda civic, it hit a Ford Ranger, I got a parking ticket.
So this is based on the screen play by… Gives them a lot of leeway to fuck with us since we already have expectations.
Sweaty.
The horseshoe is supposed to be ABOVE the door.
It’s crazy to think that that OLD farmhouse is decades newer than the house I’m sitting in.
Damn sexy stairs.
Not so sexy… warthog.
She’s got on her…
Tor????
So, yes! YES!! That’s an old Chevy square-body! We’re talking sexy stairs, sexy truck…
I need to explain. Uh… The corpse upstairs… comes downstairs… quickly. Outside, Todd approaches in a sexy truck.
There are special effects and they are NICE.
KUNG-FU KICK!
I like baseball.
Broken window- not good. I mean, it’d have gotten broken later.
So far, we’ve updated this to remove the slap.
Although he might be getting close…
So, he’s going the other route. A hug. I like it. I mean, I like hugging people. As much as the next person with ASPD.
Got doorknob terror…
FUCK!! I just jumped and yelled. FUCK…
Mr. U-Turn. Gonna… put a stop to him.
“Goddamn you! Goddamn all of you!!” (makes the sign of the cross)
Here’s the gore statement. Hell yeah. For analog, this is some of the dopest dope.
Keep making a big point about the full moon. Why? Are we going cross-over here?
Hand-golf. Eww.
It sucks, Todd, but people ARE going to do all sorts of irrational things when the shit goes down. I myself hope to avoid too much chaos, but I will happily do a bit of trigger pulling to keep my neighborhood safe. Besides. Fix ya damn window! Don’t tell me what to do.
I like diner food.
Todd, now you’re losing your shit. I still don’t advocate slapping each other though.
“Doesn’t take long for the world to fall apart, does it?”
That’s a scary shadow.
Strangest version of “all right” that I’ve ever seen. Messiest, too.
30-30. It’s love at first sight.
I think they’ve added a couple characters?
Damn, you got that asshole part nailed. He’s a dick. I like the whiney Steeler’s fan.
“My cousin Satchel”.
Oh boy… setting up for the gas-tank debacle. I’m twitchy with happy!
Todd, I like your straightforwardness.
I would not go into the basement either.
“You’re boss down there. I’m boss up here. Now whatcha gonna do?”
“You lamebrains! You gonna die up here. You gonna die.” (Lamebrains?)
“Bunch yo-yos!” (Swearing dialogue provided by Tommy, age 6)
I like the way the waif thinks. I’d make a walk for it too. First, gotta have a weapons-making montage.
Tommy is using a crescent wrench as a hammer. Nice. It’ll come down to things like that.
Oh! Jumped! YAY CAFFIENE!!
That hammering is making quite a racket.
I like that purple flowered wallpaper. I do.
“I don’t know if it’s graded, but if it is… Coarse.”
Don’t hit her! So that’s where they put it.
“And ya’ll playing rooster with it!” They didn’t give her many lines. I can kinda see why.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cummerbund like that before.
Yay pants! I mean, “Don’t you hate pants?”
It’s a zombie Anthony Bourdain.
They are not doing a good job being team players.
Yelling and screaming and throwing things at each other in domestic anger!
“Whatever I lost I lost a long time ago and I don’t plan on losing anything else!” (drops mic)
Don’t think a 30-30 holds 15. Does it? If so, I want one even more. I thought it was like 7 or 8.
I’m 99% certain she just loaded one of those bullets in backwards.
RADIO RADIO RADIO RADIO RADIO RADIO RADIO!! When you need zombie info, it’s the place to go!!
Or rather, it’s a TV in the other room.
“Clearly a behavioral disorder.” Fuck you, newscaster! I resemble that remark!
Is he planning on stealing that TV?
First I’m startled, then the TV is dropped, and now more yelling?
“You can’t get any reception in the basement, Dickhead!”
The Waif is suddenly in sexy ass-kicking soldier pin-up mode. She’s really thriving in this environment.
Oh! We got the keys!
YES! Gonna have a gas-debacle scene!
“Tell them I know how to drive! Do it, Tommy!”
I like her smile after she shoots someone.
We’ve begun the gas-debacle!
Oh Jesus, give that balding sweater-wearing “fire fearing zombie” a fucking zombie Oscar. SO GOOD!
This is turning into a debacle! YES!!
Oh fuck. They dialed that debacle up to 11.
Not like the original debacle… not quite as good.
“Into the cellar, Hellen. Now. You daughter needs you.” Oh shit foreshadowing!!
YES!!! I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! The daughter chompers the mother so well and then there’s red splashed across a rusty trowel that REMAINS hanging on the wall! FIXED!!! (dusts hands approvingly)
Todd has invented multiple forms of ground-fighting in the past 20 seconds.
Cooper is an asshole.
That’s a cop! YAY!
Cooper! They made you even worse!
Todd, I still really like you. Cooper deserved what he got. And worse.
The waif really could have shut the door if she wanted to be nice.
Todd, I hope you got a bullet left.
This is some of the most claustrophobic zombie shit I’ve seen.
I love the waif. Walking. How badass.
I want her to run directly into one of the Chainsaw Massacre movies and fight Leatherface. She’s that bad-ass. She and Ripley could a be a tag-team.
Oh, Todd, I hope THAT wasn’t your last bullet… I mean, I’d shoot Cooper’s wife on principle, too, but you might want it…
Never seen a Zombie with a heroin rig in it…
Such a good eating and squalling scene
So many zombies!! All of them great!!
Radio don’t really have good news.
August 23rd? So close to my birthday!
“Reactivated bodies”
Oh, Irony is a cruel mistress…
Radio drowns out.
A bunch of rednecks… saves the day?
So that’s where her brother went.
I want BBQ.
Evidently, Romero really had a thing for the renaissance fair vibe.
Are we really that different from the zombies? No, we’ll do horrible things if you let us. Like hoot and holler happily while we shoot zombies.
This is more redneck hooting than is found at hootenanny classics.
Oh! Didn’t expect that! Dammit, Todd, I know you’re not allowed to live…
Oh, shit. The waif… is not to be fucked with.
Used to have bonfires back in the day. Down by the reservoir. Great place to take mushrooms and then go polar-bearing.
————End Transmission——————–
Introduction
Introduction
I just woke up a little while ago. It’s 4:13 in the afternoon. I was awake earlier, in fact, I drove back from the coast, but I don’t remember much of it. We took a nice weekend off from adulting and ran away to a tiny place on the coast that allows dogs on the beds and we ordered pizza and watched the rain go sideways by the window.
I wanted to watch a bad movie- I mean, I was kinda hankering to do a review, to be totally honest, but I have to save all my zombie movies to share with you, so I was looking for something close but no cigar. I went looking for the bastard child of the horror genre- the werewolf movie. Actually, I didn’t go looking for one- I decided to watch a crappy movie and right there in front of my face was Werewolves Within.
My god, it was really good! I felt let down, but I was laughing my ass off, so I’m not that upset that it was better than anticipated. It’s a very intelligent approach to a werewolf movie- it’s sort of like if they remade the movie Clue, from 1989 or whatever, and made one of the characters a werewolf. I mean, that’s all it takes. It’s that good.
It’s also got the AT&T girl in it, which gave me and my wife something to argue about. Not phone service, but whether or not it actually was her. I think my wife finally cracked and looked it up on her phone. I’m not going to ruin anything, because it’s so good it should be experienced (It’s the same humor yet faithfulness of What We Do in the Shadows, but with werewolves) for yourself- but Harvey’s character was awesome, and as usual, Sam Richardson was awesome.
Ok, since I named all the *other* actors, I’ll say her name. Milana Vayntrub. See? She’s not just a corporate logo. She’s a human with feelings and ideas and acne and unpleasant hidden fears and insecurities! Is that what you wanted? What did I want? Over the weekend?
I wanted to run on the beach with my old dog. I didn’t get to. I got buffeted around by the wind with her while they tried to take craps in a hurricane, though. All things considered, it was a good doggy expedition, even if we never actually made it to the beach.
They got to eat a lot of the pizza we ordered, and I’m sure most dogs would actually choose a slice of pizza (Yeah, I love my dogs) over walking on the beach in sleet. But hey, I’d be the first one to purchase a translation helmet when they come out. I want to know, not just assume these things.
1: Get a dog that barks on a secret command, like a finger wiggle.
2: Make some stupid goofy “translation helmet device”
3: Go wear the helmet in public while sitting with the dog
4: Whenever someone walks by, trigger the dog to bark, and then respond in English to the dog something like “Oh, man, don’t say that about him! He probably doesn’t know his fly’s unzipped!”
You can also play this game with a significant other while sitting on a bench, no helmet required. When a stranger walks by, let out a wolf-whistle and then look at your significant other with a look of surprised repugnance.
I mean… yeah. My wife is a fucking saint and I ought to be Renfield away’d like there’s no moon tomorrow. Man, I can’t wait for Nicholas Cage’s new movie to come out. He’s played a vampire before, I think… I can’t remember. My wife knows. You’d think she’s got something for Nicholas Cage, but I think she’s just going along with my whims.
Ed Harris is her man. Thankfully, I’m bald, eloquent, and violent too. I even have blue eyes.
So I woke up a little while ago with no idea what time it was or anything. I think I have enough time to do a review- she’s getting sugared threads rubbed frantically around her eyebrows, if I understand correctly. Then hopefully grocery shopping; hopefully not in the “I’m starving and want food” sense, but “It’ll give me time to wrap this review” meaning of the word.
I’m pounding a coffee like I’ve never met one before and it took a little while to figure out what to watch. I pulled up a couple of the “Top Zombie Movies!” lists up and was crawling through them, but Amazon is actually missing a whole boatload of the recommended classics.
There was one about children zombies that I couldn’t get, another indie gem (assuming) from someplace foreign, and then even Romero’s 1978 Dawn of the Dead is absent. I mean, come the fuck on. I even did a search under Romero and it’s got almost everything- it’s even got Knightriders, from 1981, which has nothing to do with Pontiacs, aqua net, or David Hasselhoff.
It’s a movie about a renaissance fair centered around the idea of “What if they had motorbikes instead of horses?” and then… see? You don’t want to hear any more. You’re like “Are you sure this is from the genius who singlehandedly created the Zombie genre?” and I’d answer “Yeah, everyone does dumb shit when they’re on acid and it’s just unfortunate that cocaine spoke loud enough to get the movie released.
To be honest, Romero invented the genre as much as David Hasselhoff is a talented singer. He sang on the Berlin wall as they tore it down. David Hasselhoff. All eyes of the world were on that wall… they could have had anyone. Michael could have moonwalked the wall out of existence. But no… Hasselhoff. Jesus.
I’m also a bit irked ‘cause I’ve found an old van that I want and the guy isn’t responding to my text about trading my pickup for it. Plain rude, you know? So I’m pounding through coffee wondering what to watch (I just typed “what to wear”) and I’m looking for something that’s old yet good. Well intentioned yet hampered by an inadequate budget.
I’m looking, I realize, for that bad werewolf movie that I still want to watch, but now I’m free to choose a zombie movie and there’s so many choices- except for the fact that Amazon appears to have a great big fucking hole in their Zombie Movie bucket, ‘cause out of this list of 50 “Must see” zombie movies, Amazon doesn’t have any available that I haven’t seen yet. But then I noticed something. I’d totally forgotten about this. They remade the original Night of the Living Dead.
I’m not super excited to watch it- meaning, I’m looking forward to it, I don’t think I’ve seen it before, but I’m not excited to watch it like I’d be if I was completely blind to it’s significance. The 1978 version is up there with Fulci’s Zombie (See, I was just talking shit when I said that Romero invented the genre) and I’ve seen it so many times.
I think I own both a black and white copy as well as a colorized copy, which was a well-intentioned gift that I look back upon with chagrin. I really don’t have people skills. “A group of strangers fight off zombies.” I mean… succinct, you know?
For the intro picture, Amazon’s just showing me Tony Todd standing there. You know he did this 2 years before he blew shit up as Candyman? That was a great movie- one of the first “non-traditional” horrors that I fell in love with. Guy was also in Platoon and Lean On Me. Damn. Tony, you have one hell of an impressive CV, man!
One of these days I’m going on a Tony Todd bender. Someone should make a ranked list of his best work. Maybe I will. I need another coffee and then some smoke, and I need to stop staring at my phone hoping this dude wants to trade vehicles. His is an extended 1992 Astro AWD that looks like two feral homeless got into a knife fight in. It’s perfect. I want it.
Gonna have to put Instant Gratification Boy to the side for a moment though. I think I’ve seen this before. Or at least, started it before. If I remember anything, it’s a pretty faithful remake. I’m really looking forward to the scene where they make a break for the pickup. In the original, it’s probably my favorite scene.
I’m also curious about how this one will address what I’ve always felt was the fatal flaw with Romero’s, where the little girl uses the trowel… See? So hard not to give shit away. But never really liked Romero’s insistence that smart zombie use tool. Even the window breaking scene to start the movie was in frantic flailing, improvisation… The trowel is just too “Evil” to be genuinely scary.
That level of thinking evil can be out-thought, you know? That’s what makes zombies so scary. You can’t out-think them, nor can you out-run them forever. 12 years. They waited 12 years to make another one. Imagine if they remade this movie every 12 years? That’d be something to look forward to. Am I looking forward to this watching? (wiggles hand uncommittedly and dismissively over keyboard) Meh. See you on the other side, Darling…