Welcome to The Stoner’s Guide to Zombie Movies
Home of the most comprehensive yet incomprehensible movie reviews on the planet
Movie Reviews
I’d say 2/3 of the crew knew exactly what they were supposed to be doing. Redline adrenalin at times …
It was seriously unnerving. And I liked it. I raise a toast to whoever thought it up. Watch this one over anything the …
Strange little piece of perfection hidden here in an art movie? More colors of chalk than we realize …
There’s very little actual zombies, horrid misuse of bald eagles, far too strong of a fascination with rain …
Community college version of a good zombie movie. CGI is vomitously abused, meat pies and goat contracts …
This is perfect for the 13 year old in you who just wants to see zombies get gunned down and stabbed and …
Brilliantly executed exploration of how relationships can either thrive or wither during an undead apocalypse …
Watch from 1:15 to 1:25 for the actual zombie movie. The rest is just ridiculous garbage …
If you like wacky Bruce flicks, this one will show you Bruce in ways that you never imagined him before …
Imagine the best zombie movie Fred Savage could have been in…perfect for a rough draft of a movie …
This movie is a car-crash of wrongness and botched good intentions translated via Swiss cheese and morse code …
What it comes down to is this- there’s not enough here for it to be a complete movie, no matter how good some of …
I didn’t expect it to make me jump when it did, or cringe when I did. There are no zombies in this movie, but …
You could say that they broke the mold after making this one, but that’s not exactly a pity. This is a good movie to …
I can’t point at any one thing and say “this is the reason not to watch this”, but neither can I point at anything …
This is a great movie that remains faithful without ever following. There’s a lot of gore effects in this that are new …
There’s just not enough zombies, which were awesome. There’s too much trying for shit that really wasn’t necessary. …
I hurt myself jumping around doing kung-fu this movie made me so excited. I’m literally typing this with a sore knee …
This is a genius work of art that is fucking bloody disgusting. Who in their right mind would make a movie, let alone two …
This is irreverence mixed with imagination… wholesome and funny and worth watching, but nothing to write home about. …
This movie starts off with blood dripping off hands. And then it just gets better and better. This is a fucking great tale that …
A boring, overly simplistic plot has shuffling black skeletal desiccated shit figures wandering through it and killing everyone …
I feel like this is an unsure work by (mostly) talented people all trying something slightly out of their comfort zone. Worth watching …
A level of excellence that is rarely attempted for, let alone bullseyed. Home-made pie vs. store-bought pie …
This has everything you never thought you needed in a zombie movie. No matter how schooled a scholar you are …
This was a well-funded movie that spent all it’s dough being mediocre. It aimed for the blandest bucket available. …
I did not enjoy it. So, fucking waste of money, unless it was just to make sure *anyone* on psychedelics who watches …
I definitely recommend watching this- keep your expectations low and your mind open. You’ll be pleasantly surprised …
At one point I found myself thinking “I’m pretty sure this is very close to what the zombies version of Goonies would …
This movie feels like something great and natural was created, and then rough crude openings were hacked into it …
Are you a horny 13 year old who wants to see some nice big tits and a whole lot of gore without having to …
This team put thought and heart …blood sweat and tears into this movie, and the result is a great little ride …
What the hell, give it a watch. It’s not bad. It doesn’t have enough zombie in it for me, but the forest battle scene …
This movie really needed to be let out of the building it was housed in… should have gotten a bigger budget and better treatment …
I have never seen anything like this movie.. people catch a space-sickness that makes them kill like homicidal blenders …
Animated zombies were glorious blotches peppered into bland “Shoot’m in the head” missionary position rest of movie …
Felt sort of like if a zombie story was contained within a snow globe… feels strangely intimate, brought a fragile beauty to it all …
For a zombie movie, you didn’t have enough zombies. And that’s a shame, ‘cause all the ones you did have were good! Even if …
Scariest zombies- I’m going to have nightmares tonight, but I could have done without any of the extraneous plot …
This is not a movie that’s so bad it’s good. This is a movie that’s good in spite of it being so bad …
Feels like a dream, with the medium constantly twisting and changing, the tape looping back over itself …
This is a fucked up, ridiculously convoluted series of weirdnesses that barely fit together. Everything changes constantly …
This is a zombie movie for the people who aren’t eagerly stockpiling firearms and ammunition …
First rate zombie movie from one of the golden ages. The plot was basic and simply solid in it’s premise, the characters were basic …
This was an art film more than a movie, this was suspense more than horror. It’s a very slow study of a slow burn …
The classical music score to the slow motion massacre was wonderful, and the framing and editing did a perfect job …
This movie rocked my “weird” meter so hard it fell over. This is in a category of one… amazing twisted retelling …
Off the wall awesome. One of my favorite presentations of my favorite concept; you’re surrounded and going to die …
Zombies are just a afterthought to some long, deep dive off the deep end into left field Flat Earth type bullshit about the addictive …
This is a very intelligent remake of Romero’s original that IS NOT TRUE TO SCRIPT yet remains true to soul. I could have not …
This is written as strongly as Shaun in regards to the buddy element and consequent bickering. …
This is a great little movie about a group of soldiers in the wrong bunker who are never going to leave the bunker. …
This is a professional take on an unprofessional idea…a fun movie to watch. I enjoyed it, even going into it admittedly prejudiced …
Creepy people doing nice things and talking about them in a creepy way…15 total seconds of enjoyable zombie action …
I liked this movie. I can’t say why or how. That one scene of her face being chewed off… It’s worth watching just for …
Sets out to emulate the great 35mm classics and B-reels, and in doing so, potently bottles up everything great …
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ATTEMPTED SLUG RAPE SCENE ABOUT? There was so much good in this, but not cohesive …
If you like scary movies that get up in your face like a south Florida stripper, this is for you! …
Zombies as laboratory assistants… wearing the scalp of a previous victim and waving their monkey stuffed animals …
It’s a gross-out gore flick. And a strange, good one at that. It’s not a traditional zombie movie …
This had all the soul, passion, grit, and individuality of a made for TV afternoon special meant to air as filler on a Tuesday …
Did you like Starship Troopers? This is the same concept; there’s television advertisements and news updates …
What a pompous, overblown piece of shit. It’s bad enough that in places, if you know how long it really is, you’ll find yourself …
There was so much here that you’ve seen before, and then again, this is so novel and frantically bad that there’s …
The perfect movie for the guide. So stupid that you can only watch it when you’re baked out of your gourd, but an awesome …
This is a movie by zombie people for zombie people, and with a budget that allowed it to be just a bit better than …
I’m happily in awe. This is a movie about love, fear, desperation, and the things you can do if you have a sound-proof room …
Kenny makes a damn fine zombie. Makes complete horse shit for a zombie movie tho. If you DO want to watch it, watch the …
This isn’t a zombie movie, this isn’t a good movie. Rips off Paul, X-Files, Independence Day, Event Horizon …
Do I recommend this? Hell yes, with a big motherfucking glowing asterisk.* Will you enjoy it? Fuck if I know …
Really fucking good. It’s Superbad meets Weird Science with just enough Shaun nods that it’s firmly in it’s groove …
I can’t really recommend this movie unless you have a thing for Nazi zombies… one of the coolest scenes of Zombie breach …
A hell of a lot better than some of the roots genre classics, but it’s also so far out there… really great startles and …
This is a very good yet shallow movie. There were a few moments of shine here, a whole lot of competent …
This is proof that your idols can fall from grace, that they can be humanly frail and weak, that they can say “Hey, let’s …
28 Days’ barbiturate-addled younger sister’s film-school project. Awesome zombies, but the passion is absent …
Kinda like vampire version of Forest Gump…Severed penises getting waved at you by a strange Gollum looking little man …
For all purposes, this is a Halloween styled slasher movie with a really pathetic evil figure, not a zombie movie …
One of the strangest and most original zombie movies to come out in a while. If you’re looking for shooting and snarling …
This is a gem. This is too smart by far. This is a cerebral thriller masquerading as a campy teen horror movie. I’ll go …
If you want constant fighting action filmed as if it were inside a tornado, this is your bag. Is it worth seeing? Yes. By …
This is a really fun, really dumb, pretty original zombie movie that’s limited on zombie variety but still keeps it …
Watch this movie now, and quickly, because it’s everything you like and only a little bit of stuff worth pointing and …
There’s nothing very good about this except the first battle scene. Everything except the script was grade A here. …
Essentially a PG rated lower budget version of 28 Days. Except it’s rated R…an older, lesser offering that crippled itself …
I loved the zombies. I loved the special effects. The story itself was good, if a bit uneven in the execution of the timing. …
Scares you with quality nightmare material… conveys the despair and helplessness… hauntingly beautiful… a classic by a master …
If you’re a fan of the Asylum and know what you’re getting yourself into, you’re going to enjoy the hell out of it …
There are little fragments of diamond here in this incomprehensible and utterly rudderless piece of shit …
This is a mashup of rom-com, as well as zom-com, with enough zom-rom thrown in that everything else has to groove …
There was some good zombie mayhem here and there, but nothing scary…botched lines continuity issues …
I have no idea what I just watched, aside from possible Resident Evil fan fiction accidently getting taken seriously …
The most obviously glaring complaint I have is that there weren’t any fucking zombies in the entire movie …