Zombie
Overall Recommendation
Recommendation?
First thing- this is a modern movie (1979) filmed in color. I don’t know why the cover makes it look black and white, bad choice on their part. This also is more Film than movie, if that makes sense to you. Prior to all the CGI crap, special effects took talent and cost money. Same thing with action shots and well, everything else. So people didn’t half-ass things. This is a movie shot in the same time signature as Taxi Driver, or Ghostbusters. It’s a movie with a bit more luxury in it’s presentation, a bit easier to digest. It’s not a slow movie, but these are slow zombies and the horror here comes from the despair you empathize with the characters, as opposed to most of today’s stuff where you’re constantly being hammered by something newer and faster. Like, why the fuck did they decide to make “Super zombies” and shit like that. Death is the great equalizer. Death is the only thing in your experience that will be completely fair to you. So if something is dead, it’s fucking dead- until it decides to get up and eat you. That’s what this movie is all about. You got some people go to the wrong place, rely on assumptions, get chased halfway across the island, and then die fighting for their lives? For the survivors to realize- at the last moment of survival elation- that home is gone and no-where is safe. You didn’t just survive that- you just bought yourself enough time to change locations. But life as you know it is over. That kinda care in crafting the message is what makes this so kick-ass. In terms of effects and whatnot, this is better than the original NOTLD and most of the sequels. It’s hard to describe this accurately, as we have to acknowledge that it’s a dated film with dated special effects, but you don’t find yourself getting tripped up on them; the rest of everything else is that solid. Though thin at times and heavily accented by the colonial/racial perspective (and sexual expression) prevalent in the 70’s, the script is on point. Yes, there’s a lot of running away from the zombies, but when this is 2 people helping a third injured party limp slowly through the jungle while zombies follow a dozen steps back at the same pace… this is a movie that scares you with quality nightmare material. This isn’t just cheap gore or jumping startles- this movie conveys the despair and helplessness that one should feel in the apocalypse. With the current zombie movie almost celebrating the end of times since we’ll get to wander around with guns and no repercussions, this is hauntingly beautiful in it’s presentation of the serene knowledge that things will never be the same again. This is a classic by a master, and watch it you must.
Plot Autopsy
Plot Autopsy
- Cops really ought to be smarter than that
- Adam West is on the hunt!
- 4 people in a boat. 1 shark. 1 water-zombie.
- On the island, zombies are causing havoc
- On the island, zombies are crawling out of their graves
- Our heroes burn down most of the island and the radio sings them a sad song
Zombie Description
Zombie Description
These are voodoo zombies. Lots of drumming proves this. When there’s drumming, the corpses all get back up and hungry. They need to be killed with a headshot, and I don’t know if it’s a viral voodoo thing or simply that you’re dead so now a zombie free agent, but you’re going to get back up and bite people. These zombies have little to no reasoning, but they’re able to climb in through windows and punch their way through doors. Pretty standard aggressive slow zombies. The zombie effects hold up, but need to be taken with reverence and understanding.
Where the money went
Where the money went
Even solid spread that covered every base quite well. The biggest fault was continuity, and this was for silly shit like the sailboat sails changing between shots. Yeah, the synth music was pretty crappy, but I actually did like the reggae tune they used. A lot of the money went into sets- they shot this pretty much like they wanted to, and a good portion went into pretty fake looking red and decent prosthetics. The zombies are disfigured, mostly unable to open their eyes… some have live worms crawling through them. This is a complete different take on zombies than we see in other classics where it just looks like the undead were smurfed with blue face paint. The gore in here is also a notch above what most would expect. I would even say that Fulci has a real thing for trying to make squeamish people recoil. He went all-in on the special effects here, and it really bolstered the whole experience. You’re supposed to feel some revulsion watching a corpse eating another corpse. Here, you actually do.
Best Weapon
Best Weapon
This is a fairly sparse story told in a land of limited resources. For weapons against the zombies, everything is pretty traditional. Revolvers, a pump .12g, a shovel, a grave marker… Nothing that really steps out and says “I’m different!”, but once again, this may be a good thing. This movie is from a time where everything that they were doing was pretty new. No-one had even contemplated taking a chainsaw to Zombies at this point- or if they had, that whole “inventive zombie-killing-arms-race” trend that all current movies tend to subscribe to wasn’t taken seriously. The best real original weapon is the huge splinter that is used to kill the drunken wife, but I’m not sure if it counts, since it killed a person and not a zombie. Since I can’t think of anything else originally weaponized, the splinter wins it!
Can I get a hand?
Can I get a hand?
This movie, in my humble opinion, is the best Zombie Breach movie ever made. I’m going to continue looking and hoping, but the number of hands and complete zombies crawling out of the dirt, the hands up close, burning hands falling off of still-walking zombies… So much here was devoted to how the simple gesture of reaching affects our experience. I’m not going to list out all the breaching or window-slapping or door-punching through. I am going to say that you’re doing yourself a disservice and acting a bit of the fool if you persist in not watching this.
That was new!
That was new!
This is confusing, but I feel like almost everything in that movie is new, but that’s residual respect I have for it after it being one of the first real zombie movies I ever watched and thus, it set my wants and expectations for the genre. As for new and different though, when matched against the field including everything else that’s come after 1979, the shark/zombie fight was pretty new. I know I’ve seen underwater zombies before, but I don’t think I ever saw one eating and getting eaten by a shark. I only hope the shark was ok.
Review Notes
Review Notes
Damn, this movie starts with a BANG! As in, the close-up of a revolver dropping a headshot into a white tarp wrapped corpse. “Now the boat may leave”
And we’re at the title.
Ahh… I forgot about the cheezy snyth music.
Got a sailboat in NY.
Strange to see the towers.
Strange to see the sailboat’s sails changing on each shot. Lotta rigging changes for an abandoned ship.
Cops in a chopper.
Cops in a boat.
These two cops are idiots. Like if Beavis and Butthead got deputized
Boat’s got a piano in it. How the hell would you keep that tuned?
Place is just slightly messier than I keep things.
Those centipede worm things are so gross!
A severed and partially eaten hand!
The eater of the hand!
The eater of the neck!
The red is quite… liquid. And the prosthetics… adequate.
Is this Tor Johnson?
Where is the other cop boat?
Six to the chest and he’s one to the grave! Splash!
A newsroom! Back when news got printed on paper and then sold to people who would read it and then their dogs would pee on it.
“And keep the British out of your prose.”
Hat woman… this is her dad’s boat, but she doesn’t know where he is.
The Antilles? “The Antilles is an archipelago bordered by the Caribbean Sea to the south and west, the Gulf of Mexico to the northwest, and the Atlantic Ocean to the north and east. The Antillean islands are divided into two smaller groupings: the Greater Antilles and the Lesser Antilles.” Learn something new every day!
4 oz of baby…
At the morgue, examining the body. It feels a little dated in their relationship. The doctor (white) is quite condescending towards James (black). 1970s weren’t all great.
The corpse… is getting an erection? Yeah. Lot to this I don’t remember.
The best sneaking scene ever filmed! She’s back on her dad’s boat.
Is that Blondie I hear? Or counterfeit? Bleachy?
Ok, that got me.
Adam West is a reporter.
If he was following her, how did he get onto the boat first?
Der… da cop… he a-hearing sumthin.
Sneaky plan!
Well, that’s one way to fool a cop.
“I’d have settled for an empty boxcar!”
“Uh-uh! Never again! Not another box car!”
“She takes after her mother. She’s crazy.” You gotta hear it in context.
West reads the last note to the daughter. Says he got a disease and probably won’t be let leave.
Sounds like the two of them are going on a search!
They don’t make airports like that anymore. That’s gorgeously opulent in a 1970’s star-wars themed porno kinda feel.
REGGEA!! IRIE MON!! This is the good stuff, synth and silly as it is.
Nothing worse than someone pretending to not speak full English in order to perpetuate socio-racial stereotypes. Gah!
Inviting themselves onto a boat. Brian Hull isn’t the most friendly.
So, the island they need to get to is cursed. That’s a good sign.
The island wants to talk to Guadalupe!! Menard!
She has very expressive eyes. And a limited vocabulary. And a drinking solution.
She’s doing a full Shatner! But she’s scared of something.
It’s never good to tell a villain that… well, hitting her wasn’t ok either. Dick.
Stop poking the bear!
Superstitions and voodoo rites.
“You won’t be happy until I’m one of your zombies!”
Drums. Close up.
So, the island is experiencing a zombie outbreak and you’re going to entrust your drunk histrionic wife to your gardener to take care of?
Lots of nice boats, the music tells us not to trust that guy. Looks like a MLB catcher calling a pitch.
La-bor-a-tor-ee
Getting ready to shoot up… Let the good times roll!
Dudes got track marks. Is that the character or the actor?
That slide has an awful lot of red on it.
West, a comb over is never a good idea.
Back on the boat, she’s wearing a swim-cap. And scuba gear. And a hanky. And that’s about it.
We’re underwater now. There’s special underwater music. All shimmery and shit.
It’s a bit dark though. The sun would be lighting that area up. I love diving. Not sure I’d like being followed by a shark though.
I’m afraid to touch the reefs though. She may have saved herself, but she might have gotten crabs from the reef. Or moray eels. I recently sorta kinda made my peace with moray eels. We’ve come to the agreement that we’re both scared shitless of each other.
Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh JAWS!! Or rather, boat-nudge!
No bolt action can fire that fast.
Oh! Shit! Underwater zombie!
Uh… so… she gets away from the zombie AND the shark, and then the shark and the zombie get into it and the zombie takes a couple bites off the shark. Shark takes off zombie’s hand. We’re gonna call it even.
Looks like… Texas.
A dilapidated ward full of people covered in blood and tied down to their beds.
Ick factor +10.
Sounds like the locals are bailing. The juju man!
The natives have gone inland to do voodoo.
Don’t fear-shame Lucas! I’m scared too!
Now we’re in a Halls commercial as we peeping tom a house…
Getting high with the dog…
The mirror placement. You have to either laugh or cry. Gratuitous, yes. An Italian director in the 70’s? Yes again.
Oh! The dead hand on the window!
I will also most definitely be taking pills come the zombie apocalypse.
I will also most definitely have ALL the lights in the house on.
Trying to hide in the closet but the door won’t shut all the way… then the zombie on the other side starts pushing it open further… the shadow… the hand reaching in… the fingers getting cut off…
The busting through the slats… Zombie POV!
Hand, meet hair!
Oh… yeah…. Forgot about this… point.
The zombie, pulling her through the broken door by her hair, guides her face so that a long splinter of broken wood is jammed into her right eye. Slowly. Graphically. It’s ick-film roots, mon. This kinda weirdness is where Saw and shit got their start.
Zombie POV! He likes to watch boats.
Menard been getting hammered sitting on the dock of the bay.
Oh! The boat has a problem. A cracked drive shaft. Must have been when the shark… yeah.
A rabbit?
Another wrapped corpse. Another headshot. Hard to make those when you turn away.
I don’t think the nurse agrees.
Sitting on a boat, firing flares off. Sounds like a good evening to me!
Catfish bay? Catfish bay? What the fuck is that? Catfish are freshwater! Or, all the ones I’ve ever eated were. That’s like saying “Giraffe Mountain.”
Oh… the pit full of wrapped and head-shot bodies.
Oh. We’re going to be dissecting.
It’s hard to focus on what she’s saying when covered with all the ick. But well done.
Nice long shot of a shamble.
The dad wanted to become a Guinee pig. Or rather, he wanted to once he got infected.
We’re flashing back to his death, evidently.
Looks kinda like a younger Einstein after a bender.
Last request…
The very, very slow zombie sit-up.
Pretty uncomfortable road-trip for our new arrivals.
“A friend of mine. Happens to be the only other white man on the island.” Menard, these things aren’t supposed to mean anything.
Menard sends the group off to look after his drunken wife.
Menard’s buddy has been bitten.
That’s pretty crusty zombie.
Wep wep wep wep wep wep wep wep (synthesizer)
I covet that land-rover.
There’s something fishy about the house’s architecture?
A little B&E… and a drum circle of zombies eating Menards drunken wife. Are they getting a bit tipsy off her? This is a complete gore scene, and done well. The zombies actually chew into that which they rip off of her.
More zombies! Time to boogie!
Or, grab some antelope horns off the wall and Babe Ruth some skulls. That was going to be my other suggestion.
Menard is on a head-shot streak. I mean, it’s easy when they’re wrapped and tied up and lying on the floor all around you. Makes for a good image.
A zombie-walks-into-oncoming-traffic… THAT’S commitment. I think they actually hit the guy.
No reason to bin the truck, though!
The radiator’s broken, so is West’s ankle.
Damn, the computer just crashed again. Seems like the middle of every review the graphics card has a stroke. Better stop exhaling hits into it.
Lotta drumming. And wailing.
And palm trees.
Does anyone else think it’s strange that the medical clinic has a really big boat in the middle of it?
Lucas and Menard are having a falling out in their bromance.
West is down for the count.
Let’s split up! Always a good idea!
Is that a conquistador’s helmet? 400 years old?
Gravestones…
West makes his move…
We have one of the best- if not the defining- zombie breach!! Gorgeous!
Leathery zombies with worms in their eyes!
Lotta red. Lotta red.
Real shooting.
West crush head. West crush head good.
Brian has red on him.
A “zombie sits up” breach… with zombie-vision!
More worms!
More breaching!
More synth!
Long, well styled scene of the graveyard as multiple zombies slowly breach
Great shot of zombies staggering down an abandoned road
A transfusion?
Great scene of zombies stepping out of the dark and tree line into the light
Slow advance… with worms…
That is not a sprained ankle. That is a fucking mostly-torn-off foot! And I hear flies buzzing around.
Well done barricade.
How did it happen? Voodoo. Even if Menard doesn’t like it.
They tested the zombies for epilepsy? For god’s sake, why? Seems pointless.
Zombies got the clinic well surrounded.
Shovel works well. Shotgun going to work good.
Should be much more careful when making Molotovs.
Oh! Shit! Didn’t see that coming! Menards only other white friend just ate his cheek off!
One less white man on the island. Or rather, two.
Oh no! Look behind you!
Why wasn’t that corpse tied down?
That is a serious bite.
Explosive head zombie?
Once again, a .12g saves the day!
Or would have if she moved faster. Another great hand scene.
West, you’re a horrible shot.
Throwing Molotov cocktails indoors.
Burning zombie.
Hordes of zombies.
Zombies climbing through the windows.
Zombies sitting up.
Burning hand falls off burning zombie
Is that 12.g loaded for bird?
Timber!
Making a break for it
She’s not her! Dammit, why you let that happen? IDIOT!
Well, that’s the end of the tobacco barn/church/boat storage/medical clinic.
Three survivors back on the boat. But Brian has been bitten and just face-planted.
A damp cloth isn’t going to help much.
That’s the end of Brian. What do you do now? Lock him in the bilge? Are you nuts? OVERBOARD!
Who cares about proof!! Burn that fucker and throw him overboard!
Back on the boat, we hear over the radio that New York is being overrun by zombies.
Brian appears to want out of the bilge.
A horde of zombies crossing the big iconic New York bridge…
Mr. Radio says “Oh no, they’re in the building! AHHHHHH!” It’s a bit hammy.
But we end with zombies shambling through New York.
It’s a beautiful thing.
*Movie is over, but I’m not. I really dislike New York. It smells horrible, and the first time I went there as a child, I got robbed. Nothing dramatic like a stick-up, but a New Yorker pretended to be nice to me and then took my money. Fuck that place. I also am a baseball hooligan, meaning: I’m not so much a Boston Red Sox fan as I am a Yankee Hater. When I raised snakes, I’d name each mouse Derrick Jeter and then use night-vision to film the mouse wandering around the pitch-black tank while the snake slowly closed in. New York’s all right…if you like saxophones.
————End Transmission——————–
Introduction
Introduction
Ok. Jesus. I’ve been spinning all day. I just took some propranolol and valium and hope to center. I think it’s starting to kick in, I feel slightly less manic and panic. I feel like I might be able to focus on something now. I really want to review Zombie, which I think is one of the absolute best movies ever made- talk about an ending!
Living in Portland, I was able to go see it on the big screen at the Hollywood Theater, which is one of the best things about Portland. That and Sam’s down the street, but then they changed the menu and I can’t get the same crazy Cadillac burger that I used to get. Wife and I still like it though.
I’ve eaten some popcorn and drank some chocolate milk. That’s seriously what I’ve been able to accomplish today. That and letting the dogs out a couple of times. I keep thinking about a video I saw once of a daredevil who got famous for doing pull-ups off the tops of skyscrapers, and then one day he set up his camera and it filmed him attempting the pull-up, beginning to lose his grip, struggling, and then a final spasm of attempt that cost him the last of his energy and optimism and he quickly exits stage down.
I’m not that guy. I didn’t choose this. Guilt and fault are two things that change perspective the more you know. I feel guilty continually. I feel at fault constantly. I never feel that I have the strength to change, or even the imagination to consider what that change could be or look like or result in. It’s like that positive choice would be a disguise for myself. I’d know I’m the same person. My good behavior, for lack of a better term, would just be a costume that I’d wear to fit in.
I spent most of my youth trying to find the right costume so I’d feel accepted. Eventually, I ended up using costumes to keep people away. A leather jacket and mohawk might draw attention, but it usually doesn’t instigate conversation, and this may be the thing that I’m most afraid of. Just talking to other people. It’s so hard. I never feel like I’m moving along the same tracks conversationally. Or there are tracks and everyone else knows to follow them but I’m off in the dirt somewhere.
My shoulder is killing me, and I think it’s the posture that I do these damn reviews in. I’m on a folded-up daybed with a circular table in front of me that’s made something resembling level by the two books jammed at 4pm and 6pm under the dais. The floor is actually that warped and sloping that we have to shim our furniture so that things don’t roll off them. If this table didn’t have the books under it, a pen would roll off it instantly.
Zombie. I’ve seen this movie 5 or 6 times, and I remember a decent amount of it, but nowhere as much as I know Shaun or Dawn of the Dead. I’m looking forward to watching it again, but I do fear that this won’t be that funny or lengthy of a review. I think this is my first time reviewing a movie that I’ve already seen. I guess Dead Snow could have counted if I’d finished watching it.
It’s ridiculously cold in here. Once again, I find myself craving coffee. Acquired. It’s cold. Not helping. I’m sitting on my toes to try to keep them warm but then my knees start complaining and winter when you’re getting older sucks. Of everything that I regret or wish I’d done differently, I think everything counts. I could have not wasted my youth, I could have lived.
The ridiculous thing is that most people I’ve talked to think that *I’ve* lived. What would it feel like? My past has surfed sine waves of fuckupery as well as “top of the world, MA!” moments that when the tide has finally settled leaves me floating somewhere far, far from where I started but no closer to where I imagine I could be heading. “You can run all your life but not go anywhere.” Jesus, I complain a lot. I also invoke a name that I have no belief in. Maybe I should start saying “Charles” instead. I at least believe in that person.
Am I really going to review Zombie? I think I should. I’m waiting on Amazon to bring me new shoes, and I hope that my wife is down to hit the gym with me later today. I’m the 3rd dog in the house, sitting on the furniture, watching the windows for her car. I just pulled up Zombie on Amazon. Explain this. I typed “Zombie” into the search bar for Prime Video. Zombie, this movie, was the 6th or 7th offering.
Flu is the first movie, which is ironic because although it’s a great movie, (spoiler alert) it’s not actually about zombies. None of the corpses ever do anything except accessorize aesthetically. Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, which I have reviewed and adore- is the 2nd option, then that POS (also reviewed) Zombies Have Fallen.
Not Another Zombie Movie and Zombie Strippers, neither of which I’ve seen are next in line, then a season of S.O.Z: Soldiers or Zombies – Season 1. I’ve never watched this. It’s hard to make a tv show about zombies. Say what you want about the Walking Dead, it’s not really about the Zombies. Shit, read the interviews, read the graphic novels- it was a good tv show until it wasn’t anymore. People have different opinions as to when that shift occurred.
Finally, Zombie For Sale, which I want to see (mainly due to it being Korean), and then Zombie. Look. I fucking typed Zombie into the search bar. Why the fuck isn’t this, the actual thing I told Amazon I was looking for, the first thing Amazon offers me? This is why our world sucks and is burning. This little shit-for-service is an analogy for everything that’s broken and wrong. I communicated very concisely, and it has been programmed to either assume I’m an idiot or sell me that which I was not searching for.
When I ran the porn store, I hired in batches of three. I’d tell them all “One of you lied to me in the interview process, and when I find out I’m going to fire you. One of you is going to think you know how to do my job better than me or that attendance is optional, and I’m going to fire you. The third one of you is going to last.” Then I’d leave it up to them to sort things out, sot of like in Heath Ledger’s Batman when the Joker holds auditions for the one open spot in his gang with a broken pool que.
Not literally, but the die would already have been half cast and then forewarned, and statistics don’t lie. So, statistically, maybe more people type in a random word like “Zombie” and then want to pick from current popular zombie movies. Let them take the time to find what they’re in the mood for. I just told you exactly what I want.
It’s like at the grocery store when people sit there slack-jawed while the kid rings everything up, and only when told the final total do they start reaching for their wallets. You stupid fucks! You’ve done this thousands of times and never once learned how you could help make things go more smoothly for all involved?
I love penguins and fucking hate people. Penguin people are the worst. I have to stop there or I’ll say something insensitive. When I looked a couple decades ago, I couldn’t find penguin meat anywhere on the internet. I didn’t expect penguin tartar or anything, but I did expect some type of jerky. They’re like classy Antarctic turkeys, right? I can get turkey jerky.
Lucio Fulci directed this. That’s important. Silly as it sounds, his is a very important name in the Zombie game. I’m shooting from the hip here without even opening my eyes, but I’d hazard a guess that Fulci is 2nd only to Romero for our genre. Now, Lucio also went on to make another 5 or 6 Zombie sequels that aren’t at this level.
Zombie: “A New York harbor patrolman is murdered at the hands of a flesh-hungry ghoul abord what was believed to be an abandoned yacht.” Yeah, this is the whole story sort of like “Columbus talked the king of Spain in to giving him some boats.” explains the totality of the “discovery” of the Americas.
I would take a swing at whoever wrote this if I had the chance. Look, if you’re going to write the blurbs for movies, watch the whole fucking thing. This description of the movie covers about the first 10 minutes of it. It’s just the first scene. For a picture, I have a tousled red-head looking past me from what’s probably a boat.
Strange. I just noticed that Amazon was only allowing me to watch that version if I joined a channel subscription, but when I looked further, option #12 or so is the restored version of Zombie. This has a much better synopsis.
Zombie: “After a deadly zombie attack aboard a missing scientists’ boat off the coast of NYC, journalist Peter West and Ann Bowles travel to a mysterious island to search for her lost father. There they discover that a terrifying disease is turning the locals into horrifying zombies with a taste for human flesh.” Now, this is more like it. I would hug this person if I had the chance. Unless they’re one of those fucking penguin people.